Addiction and Family
Do you love him so much that you are willing to get him into rehab?
When you have a partner, spouse, family member or friend who is suffering from substance dependence or addiction, we often find ourselves wanting to keep them from harm and protect them even from themselves. We try to keep them clean and healthy, buy them medicine when they get sick, cover up their unpaid bills, support them when they lose their jobs, and help them if they get into any legal trouble.
Many people who enter the doors of rehabilitation often find themselves also struggling with their spirituality. Many struggle with the idea of spirituality or the belief in a higher power because they may not identify themselves as religious, or have now rejected religion.
Age is no guarantee of maturity. We all know that.
But have you ever been called immature?
“It’s my problem! Let me handle it on my own!” “Don’t interfere with my life, I am not interfering with yours.” “Mind your own business!”
These may just be some of the things your loved ones or friends with drug or alcohol addiction may have told you. When you express your concern, fear, sadness, and frustration to them, they would retaliate harshly that their problem doesn’t affect you so you don’t have to worry about them.
But we all know they’re completely wrong.
Addiction is a lonely disease.
When at first you have a happy family and a great relationship and social life, once addiction hits, things can change for the worst dramatically. Addiction isolates you to your family and friends, the people who love you, and then ultimately kill you. This is the reality for many addicts, unless they seek help and decide to stay sober.
When something goes wrong, when there’s a problem, or when you make a mistake, you often try to see the reason or the cause of the issue. If you trip on a shoe when you walk into the hallway in your house, you get frustrated with the person who left the shoe on the floor. You think, “It’s your fault I tripped.” If you are in the middle of traffic and you are rushing to work but then someone keeps cutting you, you get on a road rage and when you get to work, you blame that other driver for making you late and in such a sour mood for your presentation.
Addiction can come between couples and break them apart–often in irreparable ways. Addiction can push very far apart people who once loved each other so deeply, to the point that they do not recognize each other anymore: one only sees the drug, while the other only sees the addiction.
Everyone likes a nice person. However, if you’re too focused on pleasing other people, then it can be a problem.
People pleasing can be a liability especially if you are in recovery. This attitude can hold you back from ever being sober and progressing in recovery, and you may less likely find the happiness that you deserve. So if you want to stay and progress in the road to recovery, you should concentrate on your priorities, instead of focusing on getting other people’s approval.